to die is gain...

Well, I am back from Jesus Culture. WOW! Shocked. Amazed. Awestruck wonder. God is amazing. There is no way to put complete words and descriptions for my encounter. My change. My renewal. I thought I knew God. I had an idea. I had a category to describe Him. The truth is, I didn't know Him at all. He is so expansive and so great. I encountered His presence, allowed it to fall on me. God moved and I was still. 


I always thought a great worship service was as far as He went. The quiet moments in my room was God. He would speak I listened. I only really heard from Him when I wanted to. I truly found God. I sought after Him with my while heart and found Him. It wasn't a great service with a great speaker. It was a transformation. It was an encounter with the Creator. The baptism of fire. Purging me, taking me and replacing the Spirit of the living God. The Holy Spirit overtaking, overwhelming and empowering. God moved. I received. 


I know what it means to no longer live and have Christ alive in me. This is not me who lives, it is God. It is the true connection and intimacy we talk about and think about. It's the union of my soul with the Spirit. I am truly immersed in Him. I feel Him now. It's like everything exists. It's a connection to God. Like life literally is flowing out of me. The Spirit is so part of everything. I understand my empty idols. I understand why my passions were misplaced into movies and books. Why I gave over a passion to them. I didn't have passion for God. M passions have changed. My heart burns to be in His presence. To be led by Him. To be His devoted child. My heart has come alive, my passion is ten times more than it ever was, but it is all focused on the One who loves me dearly and tenderly and furiously. 


My God deserves all praise. He deserves all love. He deserves me. He has me, that is it. I am a living sacrifice. I am taking up my cross. I am running closer and closer to God and I will knock down anything and anyone who gets in my way. I won't be silenced or quieted. If my passion makes people uncomfortable then my silence will torment me. I can't be silent or still. I was made to move, to touch, and to love.